(and from the open door lyrics waft in, blending with the notes and making the whole far greater than the sum of its parts....)
"Just sit right there and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful night.
That started back in Dragon Court when there were no drunks there to fight.
The owner was a...
Snake-Eyes, you lose...
Lose is right. The nod goes to Sgt. Slaughter for being a Marine AND a WWE wrestler. That is one impressive resume.
Although if Zartan would have been available as a choice, it would have been close.
Ninja mask? Check.
Nunchucks? Check.
Green paint? Check.
Razor? Check.
Thong? Check.
The complete lack of a self-image? Check.
http://www.pandachute.com/videos/a_real_ninja_turtle
"Nay Lord Slohand, we are not so uncouth."
"The object is simple, there are nine holes where the gnomes stick there heads up through randomly. Use this hammer to whack them down when they pop up to score points."
"Use of performance enhancing enchantments are not allowed."
"We have a few new features since you've been in last. Over there is the dartboard with the phantasmal darts. I don't have to worry about holes in my walls."
"Next is the juke-box. I don't know why they call it juke when the bard inside it can hardly move at all."
"Over there is the...
How about some poetry.
There once was a fighter named Rick,
on whom his friends played a trick.
He hooked up with a maid,
But when he got laid,
He found out that she had a dick.
"Thank you. Thank you very much."
This is a little number I call,...
Yserbian Rhapsody.
Is this the real world
Is this just fantasy
Caught near a ‘cano
No escape from monotony
Open your eyes
Come into my tavern and see
I’m just a Halfling
I need a crowd to please
Because it’s easy come easy...
(Fleetwood takes the stage)
Every drink you take
Every move you make
Every chair you break
Every piss you take
I’ll be watching you
Every single night
Even by candlelight
I’ll overcharge tonight
The drunks who aren’t too bright
And I’ll be watching you.
Oh can’t you see
This tavern belongs to...
Ah, you no doubt refer to the um,...former management. I have it on good authority that the, er...entertainment has been upgraded.
And special glasses are available in case of, er...a wardrobe malfunction.
(rubs hands in glee)
"My campaign of advertisement will soon bear fruit."
"And they thought I was mad,..MAD!!! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Turn those stage lights on and get the band ready!"
(halfling pokes head back in door)
"That's right my friend. I hear that The Dragon's Court is under new management. If you want to be WHERE THE ACTION IS, I suggest you double move over there and check it out."