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Fancy

Tater

Inactive Members
#1
**A Short non descript Dwarf opens the door and slips into the Tavern. about waist high to the ordinary human. This likely fellow is attired in a bright red Thong and other than a Axe of his and a semi toothless smile, that is all. Nearly as thick across the middle as he is high, the Dwarf waddles across the room and plunks his axe down in the corner. Wheeling and spinning as he jumps amid an empty table. eyeing the fair Lilly all the while**

"Table Dances anyone? Short Out of luck Dwarf with a penchant for the ladies. Giving Table Dances for ales!! Or gold whatever have ye?" Spinning around and slapping a cheek before popping a thin string of his thong.

"Step right up Ladies and umm well anyone who wants to buy me an ale" Starts a slow bump and grind to tease Lilly as he looks her in the eye.
humming "Come and get ya some" An old Evil way tune from way back.

.................
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#3
Look at Slohand being all shy.

He has a funny joke about rodeo...rodeo...gosh, what was it again?

*blink*

Cyren
 

Tiger

Active Members
#4
<walks into the tav, to check how Misty Hollow is goin> Hey all, ho'.... <Stops mid scentence seeing the dwarf> ARGHHH!! My eyes!!! <turns around and runs out the door screaming>
 

Render

Message for Upgrade
#5
Render trips over Tiger on the way out, checking to see if the gentleman attempting to claw his own eyes out will be okay.

Satisfied that Tiger will survive, he enters the tavern out of curiosity from the noise.

His eyes narrow when he sees Tater and tilts his head to make sure he sees what he sees.

Doesn't anyone else know how to stop a dancing dwarf? Sighing, he pulls paper currency from his pocket and places it in Tater's thong, snapping it hard in place to cover as much as he possibly can and maybe raise a welt.

"Come on, Tater, I'll buy you a drink. I applaud the solid body image, don't see that every day. Nice axe. What will you have?"
 

Tater

Inactive Members
#6
hehe

**watches a patron fall out of the door backwords screaming. Thinking how he must have been so over come with this physique that he needed a moment to compose himself.**

"Dont worry Lad it does the same to me ev'r time i see it in the mirror!!!" as his hips beat a rythm to the retreating footsteps

**Short stumpy limps undulating to a unheard rythm as he eyes the fair Lilly peddaling her petals.**

"Well Get on over here wench You show me your yers and I will show ya mine!!.. errrrr whats that ye say" His attention broke by a male patron

"You aplauu aplauuu errhmm what? I am not that kinda a Dwarf!! Well there was that time in .. ahh nevermind!!" Gratefully glad there is paper currency these days as he deftly climbs down from the table.

"ahh axe you say sonny.. Hey Bartender!!!.. Down here!!! ............Look down here over the bar top!!... I ll have a fresh ale curtsey of this gentlemen here" Points to Render " Axe you say ahemmm well ya see there was this incident back in ummmm 92 or so with me and these to troll barbs. mind you if you repeat me coversin with any dem trolls I will deny it. Anyhow it seems I kinda ended up with dat axe and dem gals ended up runnin off with all me clothes."

**Barely Clad the Thong little else to imagine as patrons who would watch would see the 3 foot dwarf barely a inch under the bartop scratches his overly hairy body in well ummm***

"den come the dark ages as we around here know it fer when many folks left these lands fer distant place. Me not havin no armor what can a dwarf in a red tong do in combat I say sonny? " Tossing down the last of his ale.

"Well sonny ya had yer fun,, thats all ye get fer a drink and its time for me to shake my money maker again.. cya.." Spins around does a solo tango across to the empty table " Oh Lilly Daddies back!!!

**Patrons watch as Tater climbs the table like it was a mountain only averting there eyes when he leans forward to toss a leg up on the tabletop, shielding their eyes with their hands**
 

Tiger

Active Members
#8
<bumps into the door on the way back inside, a blind fold tied around his eyes>

Is it gone?!?!

<knocks over a chair, feeling his way inside, finds a table, not sensing any movment from the table slowly peeks from under the blindfold>

Is it safe?

<sees the dwarf again, mere inches from my own nose, I fall over and die on the spot a single thought running through my head as I pass from consciousness, "Some things are not meant to be seen with my half elven eyes.">
 

Render

Message for Upgrade
#10
Render nods politely during the discussion and listens for his opening, wondering when he could offer his cape.

As soon as it seems like his opening has arrived, he opens his mouth and raises a hand in aid, looking away briefly to release a clasp and be generous.

When he turns back around he hears "Daddies back!!!" and resolutely looks at the bartender, paying for the drinks and giving him a significant look.

"Eyes forward, it's going to be a long night." He pulls his collar up to block his peripheral vision. His thumb and forefinger rub the bridge of his nose. "It should have worked. I swear, it should have worked. I had gold, I had ale...bloody dwarf." He takes a drink, hoping some had managed to escape while he distracted the Thonginator.
 

Navic

Inactive Members
#11
<walks in the tav after finishing the neon sign on the roof>

Tater said:
A Short non descript Dwarf... attired in a bright red Thong..
8O
Reminds me of a time long ago...< takes a seat at the bar, orders a ale> I was at the tav in Lance Lair when...
An Elf, a Human and a Dwarf, all old friends, are sitting at a tavern, talking about the night they had with their wives...

The Human smirks as he says "Boys, the wife and I had at it like rabbits last night, about seven times... When we woke up this morning, she told me she loved me and was going to make my favorite meals all day.."

The Elf looks at him, then smirks and responds "Well, I only made love four times to my wife last night, but each time was like a new extatic experience.. When we awoke this morning, she said we'd spend the rest of our days together and would surprise me again tonight.."

The Dwarf looks at them both and snorts, drinking his beer silently.
Feeling uncomfortable of being stared at by the other two, he finally says "Fine, fine.. My wife and I had thee 'ol in-out once last night."

The other two blink, until the Elf smirks and asks "Pray tell us what she said to you this morning.."

This time, the Dwarf smirks and says "She said.. Please, Honey, don't stop now..." :p
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#12
Cyren trips over Tiger while trying to get to Slohand and limps a few steps, hopping on one foot.

"Dwarf-induced death. Bad."

She leans over Tiger with a resuscitator and casts the spell, covering his eyes with one hand and whispering in his ear "He's still here. I could blind you if you'd like."

She waves Slohand over "I'm handing out blinds, you want one? Oh, come on, it's not that bad, he's got some moves. I always did like it when a white boy gives it his all." She looks over her shoulder at a crucial moment and winces. "Okay, that's a lot of all. I need a drink."
 

Tiger

Active Members
#13
<Wakes with a start, seeing red thong on a hairy..> Ack! A blind spell??!? How about a memory lapse spell?!? I need some ale all right... and some whiskey, elven wine, and anything else around here that'll make me foreget that site.... Man, I don't ever remember being subject to such.... Bravado in Fear Forest.....

Thanks, BTW Cyren... Rounds are on me!
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#14
*points to Navic's table*

We'll sit there. There will be lots of alcohol, we'll put up drapes if necessary. Look at the floor, look at the floor. It's only a dwarf, it can't really hurt you. It's more afraid of you than you are of it...just walk slowly.

Think of some good jokes. We're gonna need them.
 

Tater

Inactive Members
#15
Hey

"Its the Stuff I'm packin m'lady" Eyeing Cyren as he dances. "Gets em to shain in their boots ev'r time.

**Spins to a silent beat facing away as Cyren looks toward him bends his 2 foot legs at the kneesand puts his hands on his stubby knees. which causes his bum to thrust out toward her and starts shaking it uncontrollably singing**

"Shake your love thing.. yea yea yes"

"Dont worry that was a case of Tolio" he says in passing.

**The Misty Hollow Dwarf with the red Thong begins thrusting body parts in each direction whenever he would catch folks peeking from between fingers.**

"Table Dance fer ales... Table Dance fer Ales" He yells as he wonder how his cousin Gimli is fairing since he gone and got himself unemployeed....
 

Tiger

Active Members
#16
<Sits with Navic, Slo and Cyren. I burry my face in a mug of ale.>

God, Slo... What have you brought to this place.... Worst thing I ever saw in FF, was the occasional drunken bar fights..... Which usually started with a Merc or KAAOS person steppin on the others toe....

<shakes his head> God... some things can not be forgotten....
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#17
Cyren starts to grin and then to laugh, touseling Tiger's hair and her shoulders start to move to a beat that is starting to magically rise.

"That does it. I'm not going to be outdanced by a dwarf. It's not going to happen. I can't help it. This is a challenge. Cover me, boys, I'm going in."

Cyren's hair gets tossed back and she gives a grin and a wink with an joking adjustment of cleavage and hiking of a skirt.

"No way dancing happens and I'm not part of it, it just doesn't work that way. You don't have to watch, this is just something that happens. Keep drinking!"

She laughs and jumps up on an opposite table from Tater, laughing so hard and trying to keep her balance, keeping up move for move except for the obvious stuff involving a thong that a lady simply does not do. She is doing stuff that tavern wenches have done through history, though. Have fun.

"It's a dance off! It's ON!" She points to Tater.

Her eyes are filled with light from the torches and she's laughing so hard that she coughs occasionally, but there is music now, and it's the good stuff. Her fists full of skirts and her hair tangling every which way, she's home.
 

Navic

Inactive Members
#19
Cyren said:
Her fists full of skirts and her hair tangling every which way, she's home.
Tater said:
The Misty Hollow Dwarf with the red Thong begins thrusting body parts in each direction whenever he would catch folks peeking from between fingers.
<Looks are Slo and Tiger as his index finger taps his chin> You know, somethings missing my brothers... :idea:
<walks behind the bar and flips a switch... instantly colored lights, appear from the walls, floor and ceiling, blinking, strobing, pulsating. Mirrored globes hang from the ceiling, spinning, reflecting the lights in all directions. The music thumps louder from the swivel out wall speakers>
<Yelling over the music> THERE WE ARE... I KNEW INSTALLING THE LIGHTS AND STUFF WOULD COME IN HANDY... :p [/quote]
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#20
Cyren strikes a pose with triumphant fist to the sky and opposing elbow drawn down to her waist.

"YES! Let there be LIGHTS!"

She blows Navic a kiss and continues with her unique patronage of the arts until she slips forward once and barks a knee up against the table. "Ow. Ow. Ouch. Okay, time to take a break. This doesn't mean he wins! This is just a...a...strategic retreat."

She grins and limps slightly over to the table, her arm hooked over the back of the chair and fanning herself lightly with a mug while she's waiting for it to be filled.

"Dancing is good for the soul. Since my soul is apparently so tarnished, I try to do a lot of it just to keep up." She gingerly touches her knee and winces "I think there are splinters. Stupid table. I was pushed. Ah well, who needs grace when you have enthusiasm." She winks and blows ale froth into the air.
 
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